Let's recap.
January: Started the year off on a "high" note. I went to NY to witness my neo's proposal. It was an amazing experience. Not only was it a great memory because of all the impromptu planning (walking through what seemed to be the whole entire state of NY) and detours we took, but because so many people came out to be a part of this beautiful occasion...in the freezing cold -- NOT EVEN MY THING. lol...Of course "high" is in quotations because it was there Tommy decided to pull me aside and express his suppressed feelings for me -- contradictory to his later defined actions. Possibly due to all the love floating around in the air (there were about 3 couples there in addition to the impending proposal); assisted by the alcohol we drank to "keep us warm", he felt it appropriate to share -- privately, but share none the less. Why do men do that? Take an ungodly amount of time to make their emotions clear, only to spill them freely when you show disinterest. Bye. Just bye. It's possibly because they know we're suckers for a good story that could be featured on Lifetime or that deep down they know that we sometimes believe in them to get it together even more than we believe in ourselves to get over them -- which is deadly. That was what I needed "DELIVERANCE" from. Those thoughts and a mindset that devalued my feelings and myself...but let me continue...
February: The 10th or 11th...can't remember which -- that was the day the other shoe dropped in my whole situationship. I read this blogpost the other day sent to me from my LS, about "The New Side Chick". "The New Side Chick" is defined as the woman that rides for a man, despite his constant and clear indication he doesn't want to be in a 100% committed relationship, and she ultimately gets pushed to the side when he 1.) finds someone else or 2.) wants to make a dramatic change in his life for his career, etc (Click here for that blogpost). Though I wasn't tossed to the side, I definitely think that if I waited long enough to see the outcome, I would've been. He had already been looking outside of our relationships for "satisfaction" I couldn't or was unable to fulfill. Who's to say he wouldn't find what he was possibly looking for, elsewhere. It was that day I realized my value in all of this -- I had none. Men are very impetuous with what they want -- it doesn't take much thought and after almost two years, it was crystal clear in his confusion that I wasn't what he really wanted.
March, April, May, June: Changed my number, did some traveling, STARTED HEALING, went to a lot of festivals, tried to become a foodie (didn't go anywhere, lol), got deeper into The Word, had a new set of beautiful prom girls I mentor, started feeling more free and valued just being by myself. I think it was around this time I realized the beauty in that type of freedom.
July: July 1st I bought a new car, his name is ZEUS. (yes all caps and yes that period is part of his name). I also celebrated 5 years of being a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. with my beautiful line sisters -- hands down one of the greatest weekends of the year; sisterhood bonding on steroids. It felt just like the weekend when we crossed. I love those women...they've shaped me in ways I can't even begin to explain. July 17 was also the ABSOLUTE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE... why you ask? I didn't really spend any money. In years past I would often be the one footing the majority of the bill, this year I went simple and it felt great, especially to have coins in my pocket the next day..lol
August, September, October: Was the fall of my old job (oh yea, I got a new job, lol). I felt the complacency set it. Never was it my intention to be an accountant for the rest of my life, but slowly I felt I was becoming too comfortable where I was. Arriving and leaving at any hour I pleased (not as dramatic as it sounds), not really taking the job as serious as I did when I started, pushing the envelope when it came to authority --- all of this mainly because I felt like a stifled flame. I had to get out.
November: I started my new job and it's AMAZING (still in accounting). The people that work for the company are great, about 70% of the company is less than 35 years old, and a whole bunch of other concessions that made the decision worthwhile! I had a huge struggle transitioning from a career where I became lackadaisical to one that was very strict about time..something I'm still getting used to. I also, at almost 5 months after I last spoke to a him, reached out to Tommy on something I'd like to call "An Obedience Test"...I'll explain in a later post...
December: I realized the purpose of passion. After working somewhere else in the accounting field, it's very evident that I can't be an accountant anymore. December has been a very reflective time (as it should be) but I think even more now because I'm want to change the paradigm of my work life completely..I also made up my mind that I'd be going back to school but for something totally unrelated to accounting or fashion...that's another post in itself..(see I'm already planning future posts for you to read!!! Lol)..
There's a funny feeling that comes over you at the brink of a new year; like a sudden rush to be a better person, do more -- something motivational. As I look back on my vision board to see how much of it was relevant to my year I can't do anything but laugh. 80-90% of those little magazine clippings glued together on a foam board actually came together -- even down to the last day of the year. The power of visualization, positive thinking and behavior, and purpose-driven living (as it relates spiritually) is real. God will always make concessions for His faithful children. This weekend my girls & I will be doing our vision boards and the following weekend I'm hosting a Vision Board Party with my young adult ministry at church (in conjunction with my business House of Mimi) to get everyone I know amp'ed up, and ready to go for the new year. Doing this small thing once a year really promotes prosperity for your life. If you haven't already, MAKE A VISION BOARD. How will God know you're serious about your purpose if you don't make your plans clear? "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, through prayer and PETITION, with thanksgiving, make your request known to God." -- Phil. 4:6. A petition is a clearly stated, formal written request. Let your 2015 vision board be just that.
AFYA.
There's a funny feeling that comes over you at the brink of a new year; like a sudden rush to be a better person, do more -- something motivational. As I look back on my vision board to see how much of it was relevant to my year I can't do anything but laugh. 80-90% of those little magazine clippings glued together on a foam board actually came together -- even down to the last day of the year. The power of visualization, positive thinking and behavior, and purpose-driven living (as it relates spiritually) is real. God will always make concessions for His faithful children. This weekend my girls & I will be doing our vision boards and the following weekend I'm hosting a Vision Board Party with my young adult ministry at church (in conjunction with my business House of Mimi) to get everyone I know amp'ed up, and ready to go for the new year. Doing this small thing once a year really promotes prosperity for your life. If you haven't already, MAKE A VISION BOARD. How will God know you're serious about your purpose if you don't make your plans clear? "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, through prayer and PETITION, with thanksgiving, make your request known to God." -- Phil. 4:6. A petition is a clearly stated, formal written request. Let your 2015 vision board be just that.
AFYA.
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